Petite log for my 22-year-old self

In a day, this girl will officially turn 22 (play 22 by Taylor Swift) and she is ready to take on any challenges coming for her. She might fail; she might shatter, but she won’t give up because she is certain. This is a short reflection of the 21-year-old me and a brief note to my future self.

21 me — Full of unexpected changes

Oh man, where should I begin? These past six months have been a roller coaster of emotions and changes. Why? I guess I should just address the elephant in the room: The Breakup. In fact, this experience has completely shifted my point of view on life, relationships, future goals, and almost everything else.

Stepping out of a long-term relationship was definitely not facile. But it has given me so many lessons that I wouldn’t have learned if it hadn’t happened — once bitten, twice shy.

I have always strived to be the best version of “myself”. By that, I meant being the best “girlfriend”, the best daughter, the best friend, and the best of what I think others ideally want.

I came to the realization that it was never the best for me. I was focusing so much on other people’s needs and feelings that I neglected my own. I became contentious with people because I thought my feelings weren’t validated.

It turned out that I was lacking self-compassion and empathy. Nonetheless, the experience made me turn over a new leaf and recognize the negativity of the time.

Taking the bad with the good, here are the changes I’ve made:

• I read more books and developed an interest in reading, which was something I couldn’t care about before. So far, I have read four books in total since the beginning of the year. I know it’s not that many, but it’s progress. My goal is to read at least six books this year.
• I have been consistent with working out and getting physical activities into my daily regimen. Yoga changes my life in a positive way, both mentally and physically. What can I say about Yoga? It’s just one of the most powerful mind-body exercises out there. Besides, I jog more often, which was something I barely did because I didn’t have enough strength or motivation to do it. Now, jogging just powers me up with endorphins and helps me get into shape. Biking is now also a once-or-twice-per-week thing. Trust me, biking while listening to some of your favorite jams is super therapeutic.
• I wear braces. Yup. Teeth have been the biggest insecurity since high school, but I didn’t have the nerve to wear, you know, the metal ones. However, thanks to the advanced technology, I could wear invisible braces (sold my kidney for it *jk*). It will take a year or more to see the result, but so far, I have seen progress.
• I got a new job in the PR field—a field that I’m quite interested in but have never done before (or very little) and have been learning every day.
• I’m being more conscious about budgeting. Rather than buying materialistic stuff, I’m saving to spend on experiences like traveling, creating art, or simply doing something healthy for my mental and physical health.
• I’m now closer to my family and friends than ever. When going through tough phases, you can really tell who is going to be there for you no matter what. I become closer to my family on another level, hang out more, and have a deeper connection with my best friends.
• I have learned and am studying A LOT more about love and relationships in general. Equipping yourself with knowledge is the best way to improve self-love, self-worth, and self-growth.

After all, it is a relentless journey that requires constant learning. No one is perfect, but we just have to keep striving to become the best version of OURSELVES.

Only when you truly love yourself are you able to love someone else wholeheartedly.

22 me — Living for the unexpected

As someone who loves to stay within her comfort zone, the past year has pushed me to step outside of it and embrace the challenges ahead. I will continue to grow and upgrade myself to the most fulfilling version.

To my 22 y/o self, I hope you will grow as a wiser individual, and flourish in whatever you do, you will be at your best, but also will never give up when you’re down.

❤ Current favorite song: Frank by Alina Baraz

You can check out my Youtube channel here or follow me on Instagram @bacontreng

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Thanks for reading.

Thân ái.
Minh Trang — Michelle Bui.

07/07/2021.